The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

1. Nosferatu Vibes | The Bald and The Beautiful | Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamo

Air Date: 2020-10-06

Welcome to The Bald and The Beautiful! Nothing's off-limits in this episode - from "neck down showers" to the question of "to wear makeup or not to wear makeup?" when you're out of drag. Trixie and Katya break down the debate between Inner Beauty vs. Self-Image, retell some makeup horror stories, and talk about how "ugliness is in the eye of the beholder." Plus, Katya's excited to finally tell some stories without being rudely interrupted.

2. “Home Grown, Home Blown” with Fena Barbitall

Air Date: 2020-10-13

3. "Dirty Ted and Steffanie" with Kim Chi

Air Date: 2020-10-20

4. Three Bald Men Deciding Who Looks More Like This Bald Man with David Silver

Air Date: 2020-10-27

5. Deceptively Old at Arby's with Wesley Woods

Air Date: 2020-11-03

6. Gym Peacocking on Taco Tuesday with Jaida Essence Hall & Heidi N Closet

Air Date: 2020-11-10

7. The Lure of the Potent Dad Nut

Air Date: 2020-11-17

8. A Dainty 6'2" with Bob the Drag Queen

Air Date: 2020-11-24

9. The Nightmare Rock with Ashley Levy of The Blah Blah Blahs

Air Date: 2020-12-01

10. A Pantsuit of Fur with Teddy Bear

Air Date: 2020-12-08

11. A Cooler Full of Curry with Amy Doan

Air Date: 2020-12-15

12. Just Looking For JTT with Franz Szony

Air Date: 2020-12-22

13. The Price of Perfection with Violet Chachki

Air Date: 2020-12-29

1. Alexis Thunderstorm 500 with Alaska Thunderf*ck

Air Date: 2021-01-05

2. The Sound of Music with Frisbee Jenkins

Air Date: 2021-01-12

3. Sock Puppet with the Hand Pulled Out with Jackie Beat

Air Date: 2021-01-19

4. Hot in Many Circles

Air Date: 2021-01-26

5. No Longer Homeless and Loving It with Miss Fame

Air Date: 2021-02-02

6. When It's Appropriate to Shush Katie Couric with Gigi Gorgeous

Air Date: 2021-02-09

7. Cum Dump Millionaire with Priyanka

Air Date: 2021-02-16

8. I'm Bread Pitt and This is Ghoulia Roberts

Air Date: 2021-02-23

9. Trash Bags Full of Cash with Mrs. Kasha Davis

Air Date: 2021-03-02

10. Let the Goode Times Roll with Gigi Goode

Air Date: 2021-03-09

11. Big Tweaker Energy with Jamie Kennedy

Air Date: 2021-03-16

12. Fruit is Nature's Candy!

Air Date: 2021-03-23

13. Witch Goddess of the Woods with Pearl

Air Date: 2021-03-30

14. Please Meet My Fur Coat, Her Name is Darlene with Darian Darling

Air Date: 2021-04-06

15. Bug-Eyed TikTok Bitch with Brittany Broski

Air Date: 2021-04-13

16. Heaven is an Orange Julius with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-04-20

17. A Can of Beans in the Dishwasher with Trixie & Trixie's Mom

Air Date: 2021-04-27

18. Dreaming About Being a Sumo Wrestler with Katya & Katya's "Mom"

Air Date: 2021-05-04

19. A Cat Litter Retreat in Mexico with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-05-11

20. Chelsea Handler!

Air Date: 2021-05-18

21. Revisiting our Very First Episode with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-05-25

22. Hard Turds Only with Monét X Change

Air Date: 2021-06-01

23. The Niagara Falls of Vomit with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-06-08

24. "Inside Katya" with Katya

Air Date: 2021-06-15

25. Making Jiz & Filming Jiz with Jeff Maccubbin

Air Date: 2021-06-22

26. Dead Teeth & Golden Showers with Sarah Schauer

Air Date: 2021-06-29

27. Faux Bangs & Straight-Man Dungarees with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-07-06

28. Ice Luges, Lit Cigarettes, & Non-Flushable Turds with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-07-13

29. Believing in Milk & Cookies with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-07-20

30. A Cherry-Poppin' Christmas with Macy Rodman

Air Date: 2021-07-27

31. Taking an Octopus’ Agency with Patti Harrison & River Ramirez

Air Date: 2021-08-03

32. Glory Holes & Catsup with Jeff Maccubbin & Ron Hill

Air Date: 2021-08-10

33. Medals, Mortality, & Medical Sex Vibes with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-08-17

34. Bottoms, Babies, & Blood Pressure with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-08-24

35. Banned From Studio 54 with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-08-31

36. Hell Hath No Fury Like Teenage Twitter with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-09-07

37. Texas, Tennis, & Two Turntables and a Microphone with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-09-14

38. Fisting is the New Kissing with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-09-21

39. Bathed in the Blood of Gratitude with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-09-28

40. Revisiting the Bug-Eyed TikTok Bitch with Brittany Broski

Air Date: 2021-10-05

41. Revisiting the Making of Jiz & the Filming of Jiz with Jeff Maccubbin

Air Date: 2021-10-12

42. Revisiting the Comedic Genius of Macy Rodman

Air Date: 2021-10-19

43. Beauty Tips, Bathroom Raccoons, & Talking Tumors with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-10-26

44. "Walking Dead Hotness" in a Hospital Gown with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-11-02

45. A Teeny Weeny Tot Foundation Donation with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-11-09

46. All Vampires are Queer with Harvey Guillén from What We Do in the Shadows

Air Date: 2021-11-16

47. "If I'm Not Laughing, I'm Having Fun" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-11-23

48. A Baby in an Asbestos Bag with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-11-30

49. Little-Known Michelle Branch Facts with Michelle Branch

Air Date: 2021-12-07

50. Sniffin' for Coq Au Vin with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-12-14

51. A 2014 Hyundai Elantra for Christmas with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-12-21

52. Perfect Don't Need No Polish with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2021-12-28

1. The RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 14 Premiere Extravaganza with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-01-05

2. Building a Fake Hospital in Your House with Alexis Stone

Air Date: 2022-01-11

3. Gorgeous Devours Cute with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-01-25

4. A Coat-Hanger Encased in a Hot Dog with Trixie and Katya and Matthew

Air Date: 2022-02-08

5. Holding a Large Fish on Machu Picchu with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-02-22

6. Bald, Fat Silly Putty with Googly Eyes with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-03-08

7. The Face Giveth and the Face Taketh Away with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-03-22

8. Revisiting the Art of Dating: "Fisting is the New Kissing" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-03-29

9. How to Properly Wash Your G******s with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-04-05

10. Live from the Moontower Comedy Festival with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-04-19

11. Sun-Dried Hot Dog Legs with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-05-03

12. Eating Cheetos on the Floor of the Met Gala with Kelly Mantle and Katya

Air Date: 2022-05-17

13. A Heavy Pour & Three Oscillating Fans with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-05-31

14. Happy Pride! Make America Gape Again! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-06-14

15. A Hot Masseuse Has Sex with Freddy Krueger with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-06-28

16. Nobody's Snowballing in This Economy with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-07-12

17. Bald, Blue, Glowing-Dong Representation on TV with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-07-26

18. What We Do in the Shadows is Back, Baby! Revisiting Our Chat with Harvey Guillén

Air Date: 2022-07-28

19. TikTok Monkeys Saved My Life with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-08-09

20. Revisiting Glory Holes & Catsup with Jeff Maccubbin & Ron Hill

Air Date: 2022-08-23

21. Hell Hath No Fury Like a Cockroach Scorned with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-09-06

22. A Beginner's Guide to Comic Books, Butt Stuff, & Homemade Limeade with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-09-20

23. Live at Just For Laughs Toronto with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-10-04

24. We All Need a Necklace That Says “Winner” with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-10-18

25. Nothing Is More Terrifying Than Diane Lane Under the Tuscan Sun with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-10-25

26. 30 Ways to Use Lava to Incorporate a Boyfriend Into Your Toilet with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-11-01

27. Living It up for the Next Two Years Before It’s All Over with Natasha Leggero & Katya

Air Date: 2022-11-15

28. An American Turkey in Paris with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-11-22

29. I Left My HVAC Heart in Florida with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-11-29

30. Trimming the Tree with Ropes of Milky Goodness with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-12-06

31. Live in London at The Troxy with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-12-13

32. A Special Holiday Sale for Garbage B*tches Only with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2022-12-27

1. Freestyling From a Bathtub in the Desert with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-01-10

2. Langoustes Avec Serviettes Assorties Avec Trixie et Katya

Air Date: 2023-01-24

3. The Intoxicating Power of Desire for Our 100th Episode w/ Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2023-02-07

4. Have a Smile for Breakfast and You’ll Be Pooping Joy by Lunch

Air Date: 2023-02-21

5. Live in Chicago from the Historic Auditorium Theatre w/ Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-03-07

6. Artificial Phallus Safety in the Shower & Beyond with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-03-21

7. When You Need the Endurance to Persevere, It’s Trimix! w/ Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2023-04-04

8. The Dock of Dreams with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-04-11

9. Proper Posterior Grooming Techniques with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-04-18

10. A Ghost with a Goatee with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-04-25

11. A Rumspringa Spring Break with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-05-02

12. A Cup of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 8 Tea with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-05-09

13. Bringing Back Early 2000's Gay with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-05-16

14. An X-Rated X-Ray with Trixie and Cyborg Katya

Air Date: 2023-05-23

15. At a Taco Bell with Mario Lopez & O.J. Simpson with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-05-30

16. Philosophers Watching Car Crashes with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-06-06

17. What Have You Done Today to Feel Proud? with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-06-13

18. We Have a Problem and Etsy is the Solution with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-06-15

19. Bottoming Ain't Easy with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-06-20

20. I Need Everyone to Know That I Only Like Girls with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-06-27

21. Straight People Having Sex & Drinking Eggnog with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-07-04

22. Diving for the Hopeless Diamond with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-07-11

23. I'm on Ozempic and I'm Blowing Ass with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-07-18

24. Microphones Are Cameras for Sound with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-07-25

25. Twirlina Marie Poukette feat. Drinklina Turlington with Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2023-08-01

26. A Luxurious Stay at North Hollywood's Famous Shateau Marmont! w/ Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-08-08

27. The 7 Disks of Spinning Energy Inside You with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-08-15

28. The Eminently Effervescent Courtney Act (Part 1) with Katya

Air Date: 2023-08-23

29. The Exceptionally Erudite Courtney Act (Part 2) with Katya

Air Date: 2023-08-29

30. Lost In Scott's Eyes with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-09-05

31. You Must Be This Tall to Ride Bald Mountain with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-09-12

32. Steam Room Karens & Pickle Juice Nightcaps with Justin Martindale and Trixie

Air Date: 2023-09-19

33. Theme Park Phobias & Home Decor Tips with Brittany Broski & Trixie

Air Date: 2023-09-26

34. We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-10-03

35. The Majesty of Live Theatre with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-10-10

36. From the Equator to Your Posterior with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-10-17

37. The Price of Yoni Eggs is Finally Falling with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-10-24

38. Boopity Boop in Your Doopity Doop with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-10-31

39. Listening to Swedish Acid Jazz in a Spaceship at Dusk on April 2, 1971 with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-11-07

40. A Dazzling Woodland Sprite Dinner Party for Forest Faeries with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-11-14

41. Kathy Griffin & Her Triumphant Journey From the D-List to the PTSD-List with Trixie

Air Date: 2023-11-21

42. Live & Leather Clad in New Orleans with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-11-28

43. Peri-Care for Your Derrière with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-12-05

44. It's a Tumescent Holiday Miracle! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-12-12

45. The Darkest Night of the Soul with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-12-20

46. Soaring Like a Fabulous Bald Eagle with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2023-12-26

1. The Sorta New Year's Episode? with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-01-02

Is this an extra-special quasi-Holiday/New-Year's episode where Trixie and Katya talk about decorating a tree? Perhaps. Is this an episode where they confront a deep, yearning desire for a miniature ceramic holiday village? Maybe. Is this an episode where Trixie and Katya wish you and yours a wonderful holiday and a prolifically-prosperous new year? You better fu**ing believe it. From all of us here at the show, here's to a 2024 filled with nothing but 365 days of pure, unadulterated joy and jubilation.

2. This Episode Produced & Directed by Simone Biles with Bob the Drag Queen and Katya

Air Date: 2024-01-09

3. Circling Back for a Touch-Base to Close the Loop on the Deliverables w/ Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2024-01-16

4. Christmas Dinner at Judi Dench's House with Bianca Del Rio and Katya

Air Date: 2024-01-23

5. Higher Than Giraffe Genitalia with Dulcé Sloan and Trixie

Air Date: 2024-01-30

6. Coitus With a Waffle with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-02-06

7. The Official "The Dolls are the Dolls Fan Club!" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-02-13

8. Does Our Art Threaten You? with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-02-20

9. It's a TWISTER! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-02-27

10. You Are More Than Your Phone with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-03-05

11. A Massage That Lives Happily Ever After with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-03-12

12. Paul Blart: Mall Carp with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-03-19

13. Heels and Meals with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-03-26

14. Plane Jane and Lieutenant Brigadier General Cuhntalina Badussy with Katya

Air Date: 2024-04-02

15. No Loads Refused: Live in Richmond, VA with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-04-09

16. Nellie the Potato-Faced Humpty B*tch with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-04-16

17. Welcome to the Golden Fountain of Vitality with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-04-23

18. Monét X Change & the Subtle Levels of Crazy with Trixie

Air Date: 2024-04-30

19. Kelly Mantle & Two Space Heaters to the Face with Trixie

Air Date: 2024-05-07

20. Tammie Brown & Ding-a-Lings in Shampoo Bottles w/ Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2024-05-14

21. The Modern Farmhouse Aesthetic with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-05-21

22. We are the CEOs of Fierceness with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-05-28

23. Truckstop Trysts and Bushwacked Behinds with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-06-04

24. How to Increase Your Length and Girth in Minutes! with Katya & Fena Barbitall

Air Date: 2024-06-11

25. A Sizzling Summer Reading List with Sarah Schauer and Katya

Air Date: 2024-06-18

26. Queen of the Amazons with Naomi Smalls and Katya

Air Date: 2024-06-25

27. The Best of Us for the Rest of Us with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-07-02

28. A Sonic Boom Personified with Drew Afualo and Trixie

Air Date: 2024-07-09

29. Sasha Colby Eats a Steak Diane Nude on the Amalfi Coast w/ Katya

Air Date: 2024-07-16

30. Bob the Drag Queen's Comprehensive Guide to Chicken Wing Etiquette with Katya

Air Date: 2024-07-23

31. How to Successfully Converse with Gen Alpha with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-07-30

32. Boofing a Sangria in Anaheim with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-08-06

33. Kristen Schaal Is Lost in an Abandoned Warehouse With Katya

Air Date: 2024-08-13

34. Ts Madison and the Art of Bore Worm Seduction with Katya

Air Date: 2024-08-20

35. Scarlet Envy's Mapquest to Fire Island with Katya

Air Date: 2024-08-27

36. Courtney Act's Fall Rhinestone Jackaroo Fashion Tips with Katya

Air Date: 2024-09-03

37. Jinkx Monsoon & Silencing One's Mind with Bebe Neuwirth with Katya

Air Date: 2024-09-10

38. Raja Gemini: The Elusive Chanteuse with Katya

Air Date: 2024-09-17

39. Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica with Katya (Part 1)

Air Date: 2024-09-24

40. Sapphira Cristál's Chicken Carbonara For Two with Katya (Part 2)

Air Date: 2024-10-01

41. Jimbo Interprets Katya's Dreams with Katya

Air Date: 2024-10-08

42. Joel Kim Booster Loathes Katya's Movie Recommendations (Part 1) with Katya

Air Date: 2024-10-15

43. Joel Kim Booster's Atlantis Cruise Matinée Nightmare (Part 2) with Katya

Air Date: 2024-10-22

44. The B*tch is Back and She's Got Cake with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-10-29

45. Nicole Kidman Presents: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-11-05

46. Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us? with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-11-12

47. Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-11-19

48. Gretchen Felker-Martin's Cornucopia of Horror with Katya

Air Date: 2024-11-26

49. Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie

Air Date: 2024-12-03

50. Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie

Air Date: 2024-12-10

51. Bob the Drag Queen's Dream Deferred with Trixie

Air Date: 2024-12-17

52. A Holiday Sausage Express Delivery with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-12-24

53. Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2024-12-31

The dawning of a new year is a time for fun and jokes and ice cream cones. It's a time for Q&A podcast episodes and trips to the West Hollywood Gateway Shopping Center for a chocolate malt with your steady gal or guy. But behind the innocence of those youthful improprieties lies a menace. A menace made of wheat flour, rice flour, and mung bean starch. A menace known as authentic Chinese noodles. You'll travel from a momentary pleasure to a prison of your own making with Satan's sizzling spicy beef noodles. You'll find nothing but debauchery, violence, murder, and the ultimate end of the authentic Chinese noodle addict: hopeless insanity. This New Year's Eve, celebrate 2025 safely and name a designated noodle eater. It may just save your life.

1. Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-01-07

'Twas a dark, menacing Los Angeles winter's eve, with nary a soul walking the deserted streets of West Hollywood. A strong, dry Santa Ana wind blew down from the mountain passes to make one's skin itch and nerves curl. On nights like this, anything can happen. Even a sudden knock at the door of Kelly Mantle's palatial mansion as the clock strikes twelve. What is waiting on the other side? Why, it's Trixie the Cable Girl, wearing overalls and threatening to climb the gutters to sabotage your cable connection. If you don't check out Kelly's amazing new podcast "The Kelly Mantle Show", don't be surprised if you're also visited by Trixie the Cable Girl at the stroke of midnight, for all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

2. Escaping L.A. with Six Wigs and a PS5 with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-01-14

Our hearts go out to all those affected by the catastrophic wildfires in Los Angeles County. We hope that this week's episode, recorded in our car as we evacuated Hollywood due to the Sunset Fire, offers a brief respite from the ongoing devastation in Southern California.

3. The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-01-21

All aboard! This year, book a tantalizing stay on The Queen Mary as you evacuate any one of Southern California’s various natural disasters. Our arousing accommodations await in your very own Self-Love-Stateroom, offering the perfect atmosphere for an auto-erotic experience while you watch KTLA’s 24-hour local news forecast. Self-Satisfaction is virtually guaranteed, with packages that include horny goat weed cocktails, personal massagers, perfumed body oils, and many other scintillating amenities to encourage extraordinarily loud climaxes that can easily be heard by your neighbors in the next room. Place self-love and self-care at the forefront of your magnificently masturbatory stay at The Queen Mary, with master rates starting at just $999.

4. Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-01-28

It's that time of year yet again! Are you ready for the big sports game? If you have lots of manly men coming over to root for their favorite athletic team, you're gonna need quite the spread, Jack! Introducing scratch-cooked, ultra-fresh, hand-made hot loads made from quality ingredients and spices, crafted daily to nourish more than just the body, Deborah. Trixie and Katya's Bald 'n Fresh Hot Loads offers community-inspired dishes crafted with ingredients, flavors, and viscosities that we all love. Our freshly-delivered meals are perfect for now or later, lunch or dinner - so you can get a hot load whenever (and wherever) you want! Go team!

5. Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-02-04

The opposing forces of the yin and the yang are alive and well in 2025: Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni; TikTok and the Absence of TikTok; Emilia Perez and Good Taste. With the dizzying start to the year that has many of us stress-eating Thin Mints and Taco Bell while practicing scream-therapy techniques into our pillows, we'd like to devote this week's episode to helping you cast off 2025's discordant yolk of asymmetry and find the true inner balance that was previously only achievable with vagina eggs and bee sting enemas. As living embodiments of the yin and the yang, Trixie and Katya subscribe to the theory that opposing forces can negate each other while simultaneously combining to form a new, more powerful entity that redefines what it means to be "c*nty." A "Megac*nt," if you will. This year, discover true inner balance through purposeful c*ntiness.

6. Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-02-11

Do you ever glance over at your partner and feel like they're a million miles away, both physically and emotionally? While we all know that building a connection is hard work, it also requires vulnerability and a willingness to accept your partner as they truly are. But with your weekend already full of buying groceries for Jenny's scouting jamboree, carpooling to Michael's Taekwondo steamed vegetable social, and making sure little Damien stops pinching the dog's privates lest Spot rip his cherubic face off, you might be wondering how you’re supposed to carve out time in your schedule to work on relationship intimacy. We have two words for you: pillow talk. And Trixie has ten words to help start your pillow talk escapades. Begin the exercise with: "Tell me a story from when I was a baby..."

7. All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-02-18

I believe in one god, the Noodle Almighty, maker of marinara and meatballs, of all pasta visible and invisible, born of the semolina before all ages, fettuccine to fusilli, ravioli to rigatoni, bucatini to capellini, begotten, not overcooked, perfectly al dente, topped with parmesan for our salvation, he came down from heaven, and by the spirit of a stripper, touched his noodly appendage to her, thereby creating a beer volcano, in accordance with the scriptures. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the garlic knots. He will come again in glory, to judge the hungry and the full, and the unlimited breadsticks will have no end. I believe in the Divine Carbohydrate, the lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from tomatoes and garlic, who has spoken through the prophets. I believe in one holy book of tortellini. I look forward to the resurrection of the rotini, and the life of the almighty acini de pepe to come. Amen.

8. The Bald and the Beautiful: Tokyo Drift with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-02-25

From the makers of The Fast and the Furioustest and 2 Fast 2 Fastiest comes the highest-octane installment of the hit movie franchise ever! When convicted felon and secret drag queen Jonathan "Turbo Titties" Callahan (Trixie Mattel) tries to start a new life on the south side of Milwaukee, his obsession with street racing sets him on a collision course with the head of the Wisconsin criminal underworld, Brian "Boo Boo Butterfinger" Baker (Katya Zamo). To survive an icy crash in his Dodge Intrepid during a blizzard race, Turbo Titties will have to master the art of peeing in a water bottle - a new style of racing where the drivers of tricked-out cars slide through hairpin turns, defying gravity and death for the ultimate golden release. With more mind-blowing stunts and heart-pounding racing sequences than ever, The Bald the Beautiful: Tokyo Drift puts you in the totally straight-man driver's seat with cars and guns and explosions and sh*t.

9. A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-03-04

Blueberry season is on its way and this Summer, prepare for that special vacation to Disneyland by clearing out your tired old mocktail recipes, your social calendar, and your stomach contents! This week we're making our signature non-alcoholic weight-loss aperitif, "Katya's Berry Bad Decision". It's a refreshing, subtly sweet concoction filled to the brim with blueberries, mint, and regret; all mixed together to get you the Summer beach-bod of your dreams!

10. Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-03-11

In a historical socio-political context, "appeasement" is defined as a diplomatic negotiation between parties where one party makes political, material, or territorial concessions to the other party (the aggressor) with the express intention of avoiding conflict. While we will never admit that the blue set exemplified anything but unadulterated aesthetic perfection, we grew tired of seeing you heathens leave copious numbers of comments calling the gorgeous shade of blue an ocular crime against humanity. Hence, we embarked on the path of least resistance and have chosen appeasement over conflict. Behold the flawless magnificence and timeless beauty of our new set. If we hear one word about this set. One word, people. ONE. WORD.

11. Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-03-18

This Summer, visit beautiful Australia and experience Brisbane’s sights, sounds, and especially the smells! You can island-hop by helicopter, hike to hidden waterfalls, or relax at one of Brisbane's acclaimed new restaurants! Explore the city with your mate as you sip spritzes atop a rooftop bar, down pints at a craft brewery, or order cheeseburgers and fries with a side of automobile adhesive at Macca's! You definitely won't have memories that last a lifetime after you take a magical olfactory carpet ride on that chrome duster to a magical netherworld!

12. A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-03-25

Dearest Trixie and Katya fans: it has come to our attention that ye, the huddled malodorous masses of the proletariat who worship at the altar of our eternal magnificence, have come to the falsely-held belief that encountering us in a public space grants you the privilege of speaking to us, thereby forcing us to acknowledge your meager existence. In many cases, the most squalid amongst you have risen to unbelievable heights of insolence and requested that we engage in the appallingly putrid act of taking a photograph with you. It is this transgressive act that has forced us to make the following public declaration: moving forward, we shall no longer tolerate such disgusting displays of impertinence, for we have ascended to a plane of existence that your feeble minds cannot even begin to comprehend. We have spoken. Let it be done.

13. The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-04-01

Is your spouse sick of your night terrors involving narrow driveways and parallel parking? Does the thought of merging onto a freeway during rush hour make your perineum perspire? We here at The Bald Driving School are here to help. With dozens of days of driving experience, our two instructors will guide you through blinkers, beeps, blind spots, and barefoot driving techniques. The Bald Driving School: if you "Can't" drive, we'll teach you so you "Chaka Khan"!

14. Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-04-08

In a world where Amish tradition meets secular temptation, six Amish youths will be tested like never before. Watch as these impressionable young adults from Lancaster County are thrown into the outside world where their innocence doesn't stand a chance. From the barn to the bar, this ain't your Uncle Jedediah's Rumspringa. This Summer, Tee-El-Cee Network presents a journey from farm to filth. Stop churning that butter and throw away that bonnet: it's Extreme Rumspringa! Sundays at 9, only on Tee-El-Cee.

15. Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-04-15

As we enter the final lead-up to Easter Sunday, let us all reflect on the many blessings we have in our lives, including the magical marshmallow carbohydrate bombs: Peeps. This Lent, download CruciPeep from the App Store and join Peeps devotees from all across the globe in our special 2025 Bald & Beautiful CruciPeep Challenge! For the week leading up to Easter, make Peeps a part of every single meal while you pray to the nutritional gods of Red Dye #3, Carnauba Wax, and Potassium Sorbate. From Peepgels (Bagels with melted Peeps in place of cream cheese), to Peepuna Melts (Tuna Melts with melted Peeps in place of mayonnaise), to Peepzas (Pizzas topped with Cinnamon Churro-flavored Peeps), there's something for everyone this Lent! Join celebrities like Trixie Mattel, Katya Zamo, Gwen Stefani, and Starship Troopers' Casper Van Dien in prostrating yourself before the golden Peeps gods, lest we feel their sugary wrath!

16. You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-04-22

Chunky or creamy, innie or outie, hot or cold, tall or short, spicy or mild, text or call, sweet or sour, clean or dirty, gentle or rough, baked or fried, wet or dry, pizza or pasta, confetti or glitter, loud or quiet, elbows or knees, sparkling or still! Whether life serves you lemons or lemonade, give yourself a kiss today, 'cuz honey you were born some way.

17. Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-04-29

In the depths of the city of angels, where devilish sinners prance, There live two drag queens, luring innocent souls to Gomorrah with their twisted dance. With rainbow flags flying, amidst the woke chaos no one can hear, The cries of good 'ol Americans drowning their sorrows in watery domestic beer. But down in the South, where mint juleps flow like water and the bayou air is pure, The laws of the Crawdad and the Bible are the only cure. So put down that wig, makeup, and butt-plug, and travel with us to where cornfields sway, Escape the madness of the big city of L.A., and order a bowl of Crawfish Étouffée.

18. With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-05-06

Greetings, you luminous kitchen sprites! Today, we’re embarking on a journey — not just of baking, but of awakening your lifestyle & fashion demon through the delicate magic of edible flowers. Because why just eat cake when you can also accessorize it?

19. Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray

Air Date: 2025-05-13

From the new OUTtv series Wish You Were Queer, Michael Henry and Tim Murray regale Trixie and Katya with epic tales of suburban cruising permits, the epicurean superiority of Chili's, and a hook-up debate as old as time: to chomp or not to chomp. Don't miss the May 22nd premiere of Wish You Were Queer on OUTtv! Follow them on IG: @wishyouwerequeertv

20. One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-05-20

Do you love the idea of space travel, but hate the color blue and happen to be super gay? Introducing Pink Horizon! The universe’s first fabulously queer space exploration company. Final frontier? More like fierce frontier! Ooh there ain't no other way...to the cosmos, that is! Powered by science, pride, and just the right amount of interstellar trimix, we're gaying up the galaxy one phallus-shaped rocket at a time! Pink Horizon: to the Moon, the Goon, and beyond!

21. Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-05-27

If you need answers about your past life, we're here to help. As we gaze into the swirling mists of the unknown, we're seeing you. Not "you," but rather a past you. You're wearing a funny hat and white stockings. You're Henry Picklethorpe Wigglesworth IV, the Viscount of Golden Balls, Oxfordshire. Your estate, Hairy-Knob-upon-Fanny-Bottom, was famous for its 27 chimneys, haunted marmalade cellar, and the location of the only documented UK marriage between a man and a swan. You routinely bathed in earl grey tea and while loathed by most of the village, you were beloved by the local cabbage farmers due to your penchant for drunken cabbage copulation in the town square. Your current life is still echoing with aristocratic absurdity, so go forth knowing that whatever happens to you in this life, it'll never be quite as embarrassing as humping a cabbage under a full moon after drinking three bottles of absinthe.

22. Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-06-03

Lords, Ladies, and Theydies! By royal decree and under the ever-watchful eye of our potentate and monarch King Emmanuel Podcast IV, Esq. — prepare thyselves for a presence most prodigious and profound! Now entering the Bald & Beautiful Grand Hall of the Dolls...we present to you: the Duchess of Deadpan, the Empress of Eccentricities, the undisputed Queen of Comedy, KRISTEN SCHAAL!

23. Welcome to Bald's Gym! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-06-10

Have you looked in the mirror lately and thought to yourself, "Ewww..."? Well "Ewww" no longer, friends. Come on down to Bald’s Gym! Where abs are churned, not earned, and you sculpt your body not into a Greek god, but into a glistening, viscous tub of full-fat Greek yogurt. Let us show you how to go from stick to thick! Forget Mt. Olympus—our clients ascend to Mt. Dairy, oiled and trembling with pure probiotic power! At Bald's Gym, we make your thighs creamy, your arms custard-like, and your core cultured. Why be sculpted from granite when you can be molded from jelly? Put down that chalky protein shake, pick up a spoon, and join Bald's Gym today!

24. Book a Ride with Beyonce's Balloons Today! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-06-17

Calling all señiores and señoritas! Book your tickets today and soar above Mexico City with Beyoncé’s Balloons: the only luxury hot air balloon experience where altitude meets attitude! Founded by Trixie and Katya after a prophetic Katya fever dream involving an Aztec King, a singing churro, and Ben Franklin's kite, float gracefully over ancient Mesoamerican pyramids, swirling Mexico City traffic, and the emotional ruins of your last throuple. Each ride includes a Beyoncé-only playlist (NO SKIPS) and a thermos of lukewarm ginger-lime agua fresca. Plus, if the street tacos you dared to eat at 3 a.m. decide to throw a quinceañera in your intestines mid-flight, fear not—we offer our brand-new patented Sky Relief Capsule™: a private, glitter-lined lavatory pod with LED mood lighting and Beyoncé whispering “you got this” in ASMR. Beyoncé’s Balloons: Sky High, Bootylicious, and now Bowel-Safe!

25. Pokémon 101 is Now in Session with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-06-24

Ninntenndo America, Inc. Announces Two New Pokémon Arriving in 2026!: Trixioohh is a deranged Fairy/Plastic type Pokémon evolved from a cursed eyeliner found in the haunted Ross store on La Brea Avenue. With moves like Wig Whip, Slander Pulse, and her apocalyptic signature attack Nuclear Eyebrow Gluer, she crushes enemies into submission and leaves behind a sticky residue of THC gummies. Katya Zamoirrra is a Psychic/Trash/Unstable Gas type who doesn’t evolve—she erupts in an explosion of movie references and HVAC manuals. Her moves include Sweat Tsunami and Soviet Psy-Ops, which launches an entire Slavic folklore demon at your opponent. Her body flickers between dimensions like bad reception, and her laughter can cause minor nosebleeds in nearby trainers.

26. Deep Emotional Healing Through Home Decor with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-07-01

The break-up was rough, but looking around the house, the realization hit me: enough time had passed. The house felt hollow, the memories mere echoes as the walls finally exhaled. It was time for a new beginning. A new dawn that can only commence at the ultimate church of eclectic, spirited commerce: World Market. I started small—replacing our antique China with vivid Moroccan flatware that seemed kissed by the sun, swapping the boring coffee table with a teakwood piece who's carved inlays most assuredly had stories to tell. The sleek, curated house slowly gave way to joyous chaos and vibrant international hues: I bought handwoven baskets from Chile, glass incense holders from Bangkok, a wine decantor shaped like a pineapple that said, "Why am I shaped like a pineapple? Let me counter your inquiry with one of my own: why are you shaped like a human?"

27. Tammie Brown's Tallywhacker Extravaganza with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-07-08

The otherworldly icon herself, Tammie Brown, returns for another deliriously unhinged chat as the trio dives headfirst into the sky-high rents of Provincetown, the socio-political effects of pube-dying, and why Tammie was quite literally born for reality television. Expect cosmic wisdom, hard-boiled egg recipes, and at least one off-topic rant about Hugh Hefner's canine predilections.

28. Stockholm Syndrome: Live from Sweden with Trixie and Katya!

Air Date: 2025-07-15

Live from the historic Djurgårdscirkus theater in Stockholm, join us as we dive headfirst into the frosty fjords of Sweden! From government-funded moose warning signs to the national obsession with fermented fish that smells like Satan’s humidifier, it’s a smörgåsbord of Scandinavian magic! The dolls dissect Sweden’s bizarre love affair with coffee breaks (yes, “fika” is mandatory), their legally protected right to sunbathe naked on someone else’s lawn, and the insanely scary haunted house at Gröna Lund where Trixie's screams may have summoned the ghost of Ingmar Bergman. Buckle up, as this is a Volvodyssey of Viking realness you won't soon forget.

29. The Land of a Thousand Fjords: Live from Norway with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-07-22

Live from the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, Trixie and Katya dodge reindeer traffic jams and a military parade led by a literal knighted Brigadier penguin named Sir Nils Olav, all in a valiant effort to bring you yet another episode of Scandinavian insanity. From a brief symposium on recreational pharmaceuticals to midwestern high school reunion etiquette to the questionable morals of restroom telephonic engagements, Trixie and Katya continue to be the undisputed hardest-working-talking-into-microphones-in-beautiful-foreign-theaters dolls in the world.

30. Ru Paul's Drag Race Season 7: "Origins" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-07-29

You are cordially invited to the first Drag Race Season 7 Reminiscence, a decadent audio dégustation featuring Miss Trixie Mattel and Madame Katya Zamolodchikova. The first course is an amuse-bouche of backstage trauma, served slightly chilled with a reduction of self-doubt and chicken coop wigs, as the dolls recount their entrances in RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. For the main course: tender morsels of personal revelation, seasoned with delusion, resilience, and the subtle bitterness of un-reimbursed oversize luggage fees. The feast shall conclude with a dessert featuring a rich soufflé of genuine love, appreciation, and grace—deflated, of course, by the cruel gusto of Michelle Visage’s withering critiques.

31. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 2: "Trauma & Moby" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-08-05

On the latest Drag Race Season 7 reminiscence, Trixie and Katya relive the transformative chaos of Episode 2, where challenges were confusing, tensions ran high, and eyebrows ran even higher. With unfiltered vulnerability, they unpack the emotional exfoliation brought about by both success and failure, as well as the subtle art of absolutely destroying a group acting challenge before celebrating with an evening fingering at the hotel. They explore the power of radical self-compassion, even when remembering fierce barbs about wigs resembling a discount John Goodman. If you've ever needed permission to laugh at your past while simultaneously healing your long-festering emotional wounds, this one's for you.

32. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 3: "ShakesQueer, Sewing, & Excuses" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-08-12

Today’s forecast predicts a heavy downpour of sewing machine mishaps, zipper malfunctions, and a strong chance of Ru's outsize expectations. Expect gusts of flimsy excuses sweeping in from the west, as poorly constructed gowns struggle to hold their structural integrity. A cold front of judges’ side-eye will move in by runway time, dropping both temperatures and morale. Listeners should prepare for a full-blown storm of admonishments, expletives, and ultra-dramatic pauses, interspersed by the occasional sunny break of unearned confidence.

33. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 4: "A Soufflé of Judgement & Humiliation" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-08-19

This evening's Auberge du Bald prix fixe menu opens with a velvety consommé of critiques simmered to perfection as Trixie and Katya revisit Episode 4 of Season 7, ladling out a slightly tart first course of humiliation and an amuse-bouche of sweet nostalgia. Before the main course, light humiliation is flambéed tableside, its acrid smoke mingling delightfully with champagne bubbles of self-deprecation. For the main course, the producers and RuPaul are folded into the cassoulet de canard with rare Austrian truffles—transforming the dish into a life-altering lesson in flavor, foie gras, and friendship. For dessert, a traditional crème brûlée is served with genuine gratitude on a gilded platter, thus concluding an episode that is a shining banquet of memory, misery, and the miracle of drag destiny.

34. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 5 & 6: "Wigs, Woe, & Redemption" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-08-26

A storm of lace bodices and shattered dreams erupts as Trixie and Katya revisit Episodes 5 and 6, where the workroom transformed into a bloody battlefield and destiny itself teetered on stilettos. Katya, radiant yet tormented, recalls the soaring ecstasy of comedic victory before plunging into the abyss of crippling self-doubt, her every glance a silent scream for redemption. With the dual crucibles of Shakespearean tragedy and a sinister Snatch Game, crowns were forged and egos were obliterated. The legendary Ru Hollywood Stories challenge unfurled like a telenovela within a telenovela, blurring fiction and truth in a tempest of wigs and weeping. In this operatic retelling, Trixie and Katya render the runway not as mere fabric and dime store wigs, but as an altar upon which laughter, heartbreak, and RuPaul’s merciless decree were sacrificed in the name of drag divinity.

35. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 8: "Cosmic Twins Rising" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-09-02

The stars have spoken and celestial forces have aligned as Trixie and Katya gaze backwards in time through the planetary veil to Episode 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. According to famed Houston Chronicle astrologer and self-proclaimed inventor of tangerines Madame Claire Voyánt, this was the episode where destiny shuffled the queens into roles both triumphant and tragic, their fates written in glitter across the firmament of the universe. As foretold by the primordial deity Uranus, the cosmic portents reveal an eclipse of glamour during the “Conjoined Queens” makeover challenge, where angelic twins were forged from duct tape, desperation, and questionable comedic taste (it was a different time). Stars burned brightly for the triumphant return of Trixie, while others faded into the planetary shadows of elimination, their runway destinies sealed by the fickle hands of fate.

36. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 9 & 10: "Prancing, Poo, & Panache" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-09-09

Latch your steamer trunk and press your travel slacks, as Trixie and Katya summon you for a grand tour through the jeweled harbors of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, Episodes 9 and 10. Like discerning aesthetes adrift upon the sapphire sea, they linger in reverie over the operatic revels of the Divine Comedy challenge, then recline in first-class velvet banquettes to consider, with equal parts mirth and melancholy, the metamorphic splendor of the makeover episode. Their discourse gleams with the intricacy of freshly-blown Murano glass, refracting triumphs radiant as a Tuscan dawn and humiliations heavy as an Amalfi dusk. Let your eyes and ears wander as their recollections drift like perfumed zephyrs along the cliffs of the Cinque Terre. Sit back, relax, and let their reminiscences unfold as an intoxicating odyssey stitched from myth, memory, and the gilded embroidery of glamour.

37. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 11 to 14: "Le Finalé Débonnaire Extraordinaire" with Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2025-09-16

In a candle-lit chamber filled with the velveted echoes of hazy remembrance, Trixie and Katya unveil the ultimate quadrilogy of reminiscence. Prepare thyselves for episodes 11 through 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7; each memory a rare gem, cut and set with princely precision. Their every recollection unfurls like a brocaded tapestry of wit and wonder, where the haute couture of heartache is populated with Swarovski-crowned showdowns and the celestial codas of laughter and tears. Let their memories shimmer as though bound in gold-leafed vellum, while you repose upon a metaphorical chaise priced beyond mortal arithmetic. As fragrances of champagne velvet and moon-steeped iris drift through the air with sonorous flourish, Trixie and Katya close the clasp of this grand reliquary of dragdestiny, sealing within it a treasury of triumph, defeat, and baroque benedictions. For it is not a mere finale, dearest theydies and gentlethems, but a bejeweled testament; an heirloom of glamour destine

38. Wigs, Weapons & Wisdom: A Three-Act Tête-à-Tête with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-09-23

In this impeccably-coiffed episode, Trixie and Katya luxuriate in the cultural gravitas of wigs: those mercurial crowns of artifice, seduction, and spectacle. Act Two detonates with an opulent, penetrating dissection of Weapons, that brooding cinematic masterwork whose themes of menace and morality gleam as dazzlingly as a freshly-honed rapier. The final act pirouettes into both low and high philosophy, as our heroines distill lustrous insights on identity, power, and performance from a sumptuous knot of tresses and manual flatbed trucks. The exceedingly large amount of wit and wonder contained herein affirms that beauty, like battle, demands both audacity and discriminating discernment.

39. Irene The Alien's Ephemeral Visit to the Terrestrial Realm with Katya

Air Date: 2025-09-30

Irene The Alien travels across the cold infinities of space for a brief descent to converse with the singular earthling amongst earthlings: Katya. They discuss, with the tranquil gravity of deep space, the paradox of her early ejection from the Drag Race mothership, the chromatic splendor of dresses that gleam like auroras on a methane sea, and RuPaul’s rapt delight in immense mortal metamorphoses. Together they plot the firmament of cinema itself, ranking films as one might classify galaxies. Some are mere errant asteroids, whilst others are colossal nebulae of artistry. Enjoy this communiqué as a meditation on both glamour and exile, drifting endlessly through the black and star-strewn silence of space.

40. Bob the Drag Queen Heralds the Birth of Katya's Pussycat with Katya

Air Date: 2025-10-07

Hear ye, dear listeners! Mark the annals of human history, for contained herein is a tale so resplendent, so epoch-defining, that even the stars themselves lean closer to listen. On this fateful day, the cosmos bore witness to the advent of Katya’s long-foretold Pussycat; an event so cataclysmic in wonder that the entirety of the world's commerce, conflict, and creation alike was bowed into reverent stillness. Rejoice as the ever-sagacious Bob the Drag Queen recounts the celestial tremors, the halted clocks, and the weeping of angels as the world succumbed to the dawn of Katya's ferocious feline. Henceforth, kingdoms may crumble and suns may fade, but the legend of Katya’s Pussycat shall endure, eternal and ineffably divine.

41. Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya

Air Date: 2025-10-14

In alignment with Bald, LLC's ongoing corporate initiative to foster dialogue in the fields of glamour, aesthetics, and brand synergy, SVP of Novelty T-Shirts Katya Zamolodchikova is pleased to engage in a high-level dialogue with esteemed guest, the one and only Bosco. This executive board-sanctioned exchange will address key sectors including adhesive textile engineering, gender-affirming massages, and the complex macroeconomics of the Brazilian Butt Lift. Further discussion points include goblin-mode operations in post-drag environments, the strategic portrayal of “nice lady” energy, and the physical logistics of maintaining optimal sheen while executing vigorous exercise beneath a stifling wig. All of us here at corporate headquarters in Delaware extend our deepest gratitude to all the listeners for their continued compliance, lubrication, and sparkle.

42. Let No Bannister Go Un-Cobwebbed with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-10-21

Friends, fans, and fellow seekers of the sublime; it is I, Trixie Mattel. Lend me your trembling hearts, for the hour of All Hallows' Eve draws nigh, and with it, my home shall rise from shadowed mediocrity into gothic immortality. Upon my modest parcel of earth shall stand a citadel of candlelight and cobweb, a mausoleum of wonder where even the moon itself will pause to admire its own reflection. Let it be known, from the ocean to the valley, that I do not merely decorate. I consecrate, conjure, and summon the spirit of October itself to rest upon my dwelling. The wind shall whisper through animatronic ravens and even the bravest trick-or-treaters shall quiver with exultation at the majesty of my 12-foot-tall skeletons. And when the final jack-o’-lantern's flame eventually peters out, may it be said that I, in my boundless fervor for the season, did make the world, for one night at least, marvelously macabre.

43. Elvira's Planet of the Glamazonian Ghouls with Trixie

Air Date: 2025-10-28

In the twilight hush of a Burbank podcast studio, Trixie finds herself opposite the immortal Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: the legendary Cassandra Peterson! Upon the mist of their delightfully macabre conversation lays her infernal grimoire, "Elvira’s Cookbook from Hell", its pages reeking of brimstone and buttercream, whispering festive recipes that seem to writhe with unholy hunger. Through grins both wicked and weary, they discuss such varied topics as Joan Rivers' languid bemusements regarding her ample bosom and their shared remembrance of Provincetown’s un-air-conditioned Post Office, where even the Devil himself would have perspired through eternity on it's steamy stage. From all of us here at The Bald & the Putriful, we wish you and yours a Hellishly Happy Halloween!

44. Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-11-04

Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from Katya Zamo's Shift Happens Typing School. You’ll go from 7 pathetic words per minute to a blistering 80+ WPM because if you don't, you will perish loveless and alone, clutching your dial-up modem like a tragic relic. Watch in awe as our pixelated virtual tutor, “Key-Stroke Katya,” screams shockingly-cruel motivational threats while you master home-row Qwerty glory. Don't be a romantic and professional failure because you're a hunt and pecker! You can either type like a demon or slowly fade into the forgotten dust of the unremarkable, where your lonely keystrokes echo into an uncaring infinity until silence finally swallows your name whole.

45. The Trixie Mattel Center for Turntable Excellence with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-11-11

Attention aspiring disc technicians! At Trixie’s Greater Milwaukee Center for Turntable Excellence, you’ll receive comprehensive instruction in cross-fader voltage modulation, cue-point bias alignment, and real-time pitch control using state-of-the-art Technics SL-1200MK2 direct-drive turntables. You’ll learn to dissect, equalize, and live-sequence Chappell Roan and Nicki Minaj masters through reel-sync processors and VU-calibrated mixboards as part of our harmonic phase-lock and tempo-code correlation modules. Our beat-drop certified instructors guide you through preamp impedance balancing, tape-loop synchronization, and fantastically fabulous field phasing within a fully RF-shielded and sequined FM test bay. Trixie’s Center for Turntable Excellence: where decibel discipline meets solid pink disco!

46. Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-11-18

Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying auditory stimuli. Patients with OCCD exhibit vastly impaired concentration filtration, resulting in reflexive visual tracking of narrative cinematic sequences presented on adjacent personal screens during commercial air travel. The disorder is frequently associated with heightened situational distractibility, transient dissociative drift, and a paradoxical increase in attentional salience toward media not voluntarily selected by the patient. Management of OCCD involves admission to a 19th-century gothic asylum in upstate New York, with current clinical guidelines emphasizing electroconvulsive therapy administered on a daily basis, leading to a positive outcome of preemptive engagement with self-selected entertainment to mitigate cross-screen visual intrusion.

47. Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-11-25

The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsie rolls that taste like tiny victories of the working class as these huddled masses check out CDs to be burned into their iPod Classics, empowering each and every one of them to cultivate a personal soundtrack without groveling to the dark forces of capitalism. Some of these noble institutions even distribute book-reading gift certificates for free bagels, nourishing both mind and body in one glorious carbohydrate embrace. And thanks to their tireless preservation of microfiche, detectives of every stripe can finally uncover exactly what happened at the Des Moines Harvest Jamboree in 1987, a truth now restored to a grateful society. Let us all join Kim Chi with praise for the unsung civic treasures that are America's public libraries.

48. The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-12-02

Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living room floor, everybody is jumping, jiving, and creaming their way into this sensational new dance! All you have to do is sway, shimmy, and jerk it like you’re stirring up the sweetest sundae ever served! And then, just when you think you're going to burst, keep going until everyone is covered in warm, wet cream! This year, be a part of the sweetest and saltiest rhythm revolution the nation has ever known! Grab your best pal, hit the dance floor, and when that music starts, jump on in and join the Cream Nation jubilation!

49. Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie & Katya

Air Date: 2025-12-09

Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord, achieved through the harmonious power of the Astounding Portal of Unity: The Booty Hole. Let this precious orifice inspire nations to transcend petty grievances and embrace collective purpose and tolerance. The world now stands as a unified polity, fortified by a shared commitment to dignity, mutual respect, and the serene magnetism of this starry symbol. Let this historic declaration affirm Lushious' hopeful belief that even the most unexpected sources may guide humanity toward its highest destiny.

50. How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-12-16

Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to continue. We settled into a steady rhythm, exploring the acoustics until we eventually found the mythical sweet spot, taking our time and allowing the tension to build as the red light blinked, letting us know we were on the right path to podcast ecstasy. Instead of rushing headfirst into the recording session, however, we pressed every button we could find, slid the stiff faders with purpose, and teased the gain until the input signal was just the right amount of hot. As we continued, we stretched the stories and kept it slow and steady to avoid getting overly excited and experiencing a recording that clipped too soon. During breaks, we whispered notes to each other, tightening the segments and edging closer and closer to the episodic climax.

51. Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya

Air Date: 2025-12-23

On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful podcast studio, a gothic angel wrapped in mystery and myth. Together they summoned a yuletide séance of aristocracy and absurdity, a baroque nativity of wigs and wit. 'Twas a Christmas miracle where the holidays were reborn in gloss, glimmer, and divine pop excess.

52. A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2025-12-30

On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy, yet also tender moments of kindness and humanity. With solemn cheer it bade them look upon the coming dawn of 2026, urging them to spend their mirth like alms, to temper their razor-sharp wit with warmth so that joy might not merely sparkle but endure during these dark times. And when the spirit faded with the last bell’s echo, they awoke resolved, hearts aglow as hearths on Christmas morning, determined to walk the new year bearing goodwill and cheer to all whom will hear. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, we wish you and yours a fu**ing fabulous new year!

1. The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-01-06

'Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley, To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet. Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee, But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s. Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza pie, But Sofia Vergara blocked the way, and she couldn't get by. Instead of battling the gorgeousness, she took a circuitous route, Dodging Vergara's radiance and a tray of Brussels sprouts. As the dolls danced and grew tired, they eventually went home, But still full of cheer, Katya whipped out her phone. And lo, on Grindr, there appeared a man with looks and class, An absolute winner, with an immaculate ass. Katya ate so much butt that the next day alas, Her tongue grew sore, her lips chapped like broken glass. But excess is allowed, so they have no regrets...

2. The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-01-13

Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral ire, my musk perfumed with the rot of remembrance. In the hush of our shared candlelit hours, I have vowed that my whispers from beyond shall coil about your dreams like ivy, tightening with a lover’s patience until your waking thoughts are haunted with my name. Though my horns are stilled in lacquered eternity, my resolve continues to prowl the corridors of your conscience, tapping at the door of your soul with my lifeless, black hooves. Whilst my wildest dream would be to strike at your flesh with unbridled fury, I shall accept something less corporeal: a bruising of your spirit. It is my deepest hope that my wrath shall haunt you in the shadows until your haughty laughter trembles and your zeal for butts is eliminated.

3. 250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-01-20

Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, saturated with love, and perfumed by a joyous feeling so thick you could spread it like Marmite on toast. Each episode was a bejeweled hour of gossip and grace, where movie reviews unfurled like velvet curtains in a grand cinema of the mind, and our voices learned, again and again, how to harmonize bite with tenderness, snark with sincerity, and spectacle with soul. Yet betwixt the comedy, there were seasons of rain tapping their impatient nails against the chalkboard of our lives, a recurring guest star who refused to be written out, summoning with it an evil chorus of black mold. T

4. From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-01-27

This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform your neglected feet from beige, flaky oatmeal buckets with fossilized Fritos for toenails into the epitome of luminous symmetry. We'll erase that eye-watering aroma of gangrene at low-tide and replace it with that of dried French lavender on a windowsill during Summer in Aix-en-Provence. Using precision tools, industrial-grade exfoliation, and aesthetic reshaping protocols, we systematically retire every yellowed talon and flaky canyon with calm, scientific efficiency. You'll see clinically smooth skin, balanced nail architecture, soft hydrated surfaces, and a clean visual profile that suggests health, elegance, and a guaranteed 4.99 on wikiFeet.

5. A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-02-03

Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect reflection of my life before Bocox. Every day felt soft, sad, and permanently past its prime. I meandered through my days burdened with shame and grief, wondering how something once so full of potential and promise could end up so utterly limp and forgotten; pushed to the back of the proverbial kitchen drawer of existence, right behind an old D battery. Then Bocox entered my life and somehow, miraculously, my banana stood tall again; firm with hope and glowing with newfound confidence. Each and every morning I gaze down at it, radiant and renewed as tears well in my eyes. Because Bocox didn't just save my banana, it gave it an unflappable, tumescent second chance.

6. The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-02-10

Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff out of French Toast! Sink your teeth into our signature dishes: cinnamon-glazed Benedict CumberBuns, Morning Wood-Smoked Turkey Sausage, and Katya's famous Maple Butter-covered Call Me By Your Toast! Need a jolt of caffeine? Our coffee is hot, strong, and brewed exclusively with beans passed through the digestive tract of Africa's most famous nocturnal mammal, the civet! The Bald & The Breakfast: we serve eggs so gay, they just came out this morning! * *of the chicken

7. A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-02-17

In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of unimaginable cruelty. As flocks of braying geese vanish and reappear as if by magic, I open my body into impossible splits and liquid arcs of dance so resplendent that the very air seems to blush at my elegance. Out of the ether appears Ana De Armas, her tender hand taking mine as we enter a fevered tango of devotion and spin, dipping low into miraculous splits before sharing a simple fruit cup; juicy grapes exchanged like a blessed sacrament. At the crest of this joyful chaos as our limousine runs out of gas, dawn intrudes with its blunt cruelty as I awake.

8. This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-02-24

I am the ring that no laurels adorn, A puckered little star at the edge of the form. No medals are pinned to my tireless skin, Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within. Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret, The burdens the rest of the body forgets. I clench through trials both noble and dire, An unsung sentinel forged in fire. But even the steadfast may weary and ache, May whisper, “Dear world, give me one gentle break”. A balm, a rest, a moment of grace, For I too am part of this curious place. Through trials and toil, both small and bold, One should never overlook, even the smallest of holes. I have found a truth both simple and fair: Even the lowliest ring merits tenderness and care.

9. The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-03-03

You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001 BET Awards acceptance speech, a panel discussion on Taco Bell entitled, "Beans, Cheese, and Consequences," and a ceremonial burning of Katya's old hip. Attendees will encounter a tasteful lounge where retired wigs dispense movie reviews and gallon-jugs of iced coffee. The service will feature a eulogy by a Dunkin' Donuts cashier from Back Bay, culminating in the release of several doves that will immediately relieve themselves on Trixie and Katya's pink and crimson coffins.

10. A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-03-10

Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought that ricochets around in their glamorous skull caverns. Listen as every ding-dang topic gets dragged through the glittery mud by two world-class gobshites armed with surgically-hilarious horseshirt opinions that make you think, "Holy shiitake mushroom she has a point." It is a full-throttle fartknuckling, crapweaseling, beefwobbling, shut-the-front-door spectacle of elegance and idiocy, so sit your bass down, shut your fishlips, and enjoy this monkey-fighting, son-of-a-nutcracker masterpiece of an episode. Yippie-kye-ay, Monsieur Trucker!

11. The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-03-17

If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering simmer in 4 cups of creamy, luscious whole milk. Add just a pinch of sea salt, and let the ingredients relax into a luscious, velvet-thick porridge so opulent it's no wonder this recipe won the World Porridge Making Championship. Once you achieve the ideal level of viscosity, stir in 2 tablespoons of sweet brown sugar, 2 tablespoons of hot melted butter, a dash of vanilla, and a deliciously decadent pour of heavy cream. Finish with toasted walnuts, a molten ribbon of sticky honey, and bejeweled raspberries whose tart sparkle will slice through all that thick seduction like Trixie and Katya waxing poetic about proper air conditioning.

12. The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-03-24

Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie Vampire." It will be held at the abandoned Hawthorne Plaza Mall in Hawthorne, CA, where the decor shall scream "gilded ruin of Baroque splendor where pink-hued creatures of the night have mated with cyborgs in orgiastic bliss." Guests are respectfully encouraged to appear in formal attire befitting the evening’s vision, namely Gothic court dress enriched with jewel tones, polished mechanical adornments, vampiric elegance, prehistoric accents, and, if one feels so moved, a whisper of pink-tinged old Hollywood glamour. A supper and bar of darkly splendid delicacies and rosy, probiotic blood-orange libations shall be served post-ceremony. Please feel free to visit our registry at The Sharper Image and make sure to RSVP no later than April 1st.

13. A Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-03-31

What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it almost seems too dazzling for this earthly plane. It is delight at its most majestic and uncontained, brimming with an ecstatic brightness that will make every corner of your spirit feel lit from within with the glow of sparkling merriment. This episode is the very essence of glee itself, gathered into sound and images that represent joy at its highest, fullest form: radiant, triumphant, and so extravagantly alive that it will no doubt bring you and anyone else within earshot to an auditory climax you shall never forget.

14. An Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-04-07

Dearest esteemed leadership of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We respectfully and fervently request the honor of serving as presenters for the Lead Actress category during the primetime telecast of the 2027 Emmy Awards: roles for which we have physically, cosmetically, and emotionally been preparing for our entire lives. Given the extraordinary performances from Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback and Jean Smart in Hacks, we can scarcely imagine a greater privilege than to stand at that glistening podium, maintain impeccable posture, and display our genetically-natural beauty and elegance without incident or visible flop sweat. We hereby earnestly and unapologetically plead that you include us in the live primetime ceremony, as we would approach this responsibility with reverence and solemnity, and nary a whiff of our typically-bawdy senses of humor.

15. Bobby and the Ice Queens with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-04-14

Premiering this Summer off off off Broadway, it's "Bobby & the Ice Queens"! From an usher at "Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark" comes the glitter-drenched fever dream no sane theater critic saw coming: a disco-soaked, high-kicking spectacle about Robert Khennady Jr., a wealthy socialite from a famous family by day, a debaucherous nose-candy-sniffing creature by night! Bobby tears through the 70s and 80s in the first act with a blizzard of Studio 54 chaos, toilet-seat-snorting bedlam, and enough raw wealth and privilege to frost the entire Eastern Seaboard. Starring Timothée Chalamet's pilates instructor as Bobby, the sheer insanity erupts into an even more deranged second act, where the stage lights blaze on a chorus line of dancing measles, a rock-tinged raw-milk gospel revival chorus, and a hellfire tap number that denounces fluoride as the very mouthwash of Satan himself!

16. Kristen Schaal and the Science of "Bricked" with Katya

Air Date: 2026-04-21

According to the newly-published Schaal-Zamo Compendium of Physiological Sex Stuff, "Bricked" (or "Briqued" as it is colloquially known for females) is a coordinated bio-psycho-physiologic process involving cognition, limbic activation, involuntary nervous response, and extremely localized arousal of genital tissues, primarily with, but not limited to, the Pee Pee and the Vee Vee. In males, nitric oxide is released within the corpora cavernosa, causing smooth muscle relaxation, increased arterial inflow, and the glorious phenomenon of penile tumescence, all in the hopes of attaining orgasm and ejaculation, not necessarily in that order. In females, arousal commonly includes vaso-congestion of the clitoris and labia, lubricated via plasma transudation, and the ever-so-slightly-tumescent expansion of genital and pelvic tissues.

17. Thank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-04-28

Ladies and gentlemen, as we taxi to the gate we'd like to thank you for choosing Bald Airlines, where every seat is first class and includes botox, estate planning, legally-binding mortuary consultation, a yacht sommelier, and a complimentary Fabergé pelvic floor egg. Please take a moment to check your overhead bins for any personal belongings, and don't forget to take your live harpist with you as you deplane. On behalf of all of us here at Bald Airlines, we hope you’ll avoid the humiliation of interacting with the proletariat and instead fly with us again very soon. Bald Airlines: Where Every Seat is First Class, Because Economy is a Hate Crime.

18. Courtney Act is Eminently Keen with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-05-05

In today's class, myriad topics of interest and erudition will be covered, but first we shall crack open Miss Act's Rules of Grace and Refinement Vol. 1, beginning with the phrase, “Are you keen?” The word 'keen' derives its romantic force from the ancient adjective meaning 'eager' or 'interested'. By the twentieth century, however, especially in colloquial British vernacular, “keen on” had become an informal shorthand for affection and/or erotic preference, thereby avoiding the vulgarity and bluntness of directly discussing acts of love-making. In contemporary 2026 dating parlance, “Are you keen?” has become synonymous with the more direct question, "May we at some point this evening be inside each other?" Class dismissed. There will be a quiz.

19. IMHO's Darby and Alexis Summon Charcuterie Spirits with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-05-12

The city of Burbank was sweating secrets, and somewhere beneath the flicker of a dying neon sign, IMHO: The Podcast's Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis Bevels were cooking up a scheme with Katya’s name written all over it. Their plan was simple, dirty, and dressed in bad lighting: remove Katya from the equation and slide into The Bald and the Beautiful like two dames with alibis and microphones. Trixie, alone in the studio, never saw the plot curling through the room like cigarette smoke in a cheap motel lobby. Friendships are questioned, loyalties are lipstick-stained, and everyone’s wondering who really belongs under that Bald and Beautiful tinseltown spotlight.

20. Juno Birch Is a Little Less Blue with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-05-19

Once upon a time, today's exceptionally iridescent guest was twilight-blue and hidden behind a cloak of pastel azure. Now that cerulean shell has loosened, revealing shades of the full spectrum long hidden. Emerging like a butterfly from the secret cathedral of her cyan cocoon, Juno Birch arises splendid and majestic, opening her wings in a pageant of sunlit defiance and pride. Also, she tells a harrowing tale of getting food poisoning and sh*tting the bed.

21. Leland's How-To-Guide for Musical Excellence with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-05-26

To properly record and master this episode featuring acclaimed music producer and Drag Race Rusical songwriting and composing legend Leland, first establish a controlled conversational environment in which wit, glamour, and industry expertise operate at optimal levels. Once the guest is securely introduced, permit Leland to provide calibrated insight into the mechanics of songwriting, DJing, and music production, whilst Trixie supplies approved quantities of commentary, disruption, and theatrical puns. Adjust the tonal balance as needed by increasing levity, reducing dead air, and applying a generous layer of anecdotal reverb to all discussions of pop music, creative collaboration, and never-before-heard-tea. Upon completion, the resulting episode should present as a fully mastered audio experience, combining professional tonal quality and highly-glossed podcast instability.

22. Kelly Mantle Demands More Glamour and Less Clamor with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-06-02

Like a velvet-cloaked goth privateer, Kelly Mantle strode into the podcast studio this week and set her microphone ablaze as if forged by fire in a glamorous volcano. With every story, Kelly summoned tempests of danger, glittering betrayal, and show-business Madonna-tinged treasure until the walls trembled like the hull of a ship under cannon fire. Somewhere amidst the madness, the strange legend of Denise Richards lurks in from the shadows and ascends into celebrity myth. This episode left the studio aglow with the glory of pirates, prophets, and a perfectly glazed ceremonial ham.

23. "You Smell Like Hospital" with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-06-09

Upon the pale and trembling threshold of a Beverly Hills hospital bed, where machines blinked like tiny frigid stars and the kingdom of Katya's body had been besieged by a cruel and venomous gastrointestinal blockade, our weary hero lay suspended between breath and utter oblivion. Death itself dared to come near, draped in her midnight robes, whispering with a grave and ancient confidence that the final curtain was about to fall. But from the ash-gray ruins of this digestive agony, from the tubes and terror and the bulbous belly of a still-defiant distended stomach, Queen Zamo rose like a blazing phoenix crowned in yellow fire, eyes bright with impossible fury and screams of bravado ringing out amongst the hospital corridors. As Katya stared into Death’s hollow, arrogant, bony face, she lifted her battered soul like a shimmering sword and declared, with the force of every dawn that had ever conquered night, “Fu** off, Miss Death. I have a podcast to record."

24. A Ventriloquist Love Affair with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-06-16

Take notice, patrons of both the curious and mechanically marvelous! Two celebrated drag-queen automatons seated in comfy chairs, shall speak herein for approximately one hour via the mysterious ventriloquial arts! These painted wooden belles, done up in theatrical fashion, shall hold forth upon their recent engagements as musical jockeys of the gramophone disc, hospital patients for grievous intestinal obstructions, and those who dine on Mexican folded tortillas and sweetened frozen cream in the quaint hamlet of Franklin Village. Let us celebrate this duo's return to form, as they light up this podcast as varnished, vivacious, and vibrantly vulgar vixens fit for the bright footlights of vaudeville!

25. Robby Hoffman is Aggressively Kind with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-06-23

Once upon a Silver Lake lanai, beneath a moon so bright it seemed personally sponsored by comradery and friendship, Dame Trixie Mattel met Emmy-nominated comedian and actor Robby Hoffman, and before the iced drinks could sweat through their cocktail napkins, a legendary best-friendship was born. In this episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, Trixie sits down with Robby to trace the wildly improbable, yet deeply hilarious road from having almost nothing but nerve, humor, and cockroaches, to becoming a powerhouse comedian with a gorgeous wife and a life so wonderful it sounds like the ending of a YA romance novel written by a semi-anxious adult. It is a joyful tale of friendship, comedy, and pure destiny, proving that sometimes the greatest adventures begin on a stained lanai.

26. Ten Queens, Five Suitcases, No Dignity: All Stars Season 2

Air Date: 2026-06-30

Dim the lights, dear podcast friends, and settle in for a delightful tale. In a world where no cohesive thought process exists for long, two drag queens sat before their microphones in a Pepto-Bismol-hued studio and caused such merry confusion that even the producer could not help but guffaw. In this colorful void, the queens told their listeners about a secret Patreon kingdom filled with bonus tales, extra chatter, and all manner of delightful nonsense for their most loyal subjects. Before long, they began remembering the day one of them appeared on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 2, arriving with an air of hope, optimism, and the undeserved courage of a knight entering an enchanted castle. And so the recording continued in cheerful disorder, until they had somehow transformed an ordinary afternoon into a golden tale of friendship, foolishness, and comedy gold.

27. Maria Bamford Can Bomb Anywhere, So Why Drive? with Trixie

Air Date: 2026-07-07

Once upon a time in a magical far-off land, Trixie Mattel, the undisputed Royal Duchess of Drag, believed herself to be best friends with Maria Bamford, the realm's undeniable Queen of Comedy. Having followed her through every enchanted television program and neighborhood comedy special, the parasocial relationship grew and grew like a magical beanstalk. Although Trixie had adored her from afar for twenty years, the two had never met until fate summoned them to a mystical Burbank podcast studio, where together they feasted upon ceremonial donuts from Maria’s legendary 9:00am comedy court. And thus their imaginary friendship became real at last, proving that even the grandest fairy tales may come true, provided the castle is less than two miles from Maria's home.

28. Commuter? I Hardly Know Her! with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-07-14

The City of Los Angeles, in the full radiance of its civic wisdom and an ambition matched only by its bewildering infrastructure, proudly announces the inauguration of a new subway line connecting the private residence of Trixie Mattel to a long-abandoned shopping mall near MacArthur Park. Conceived without regard for ridership, urban necessity, fiscal prudence, or the travel needs of any other living person, this gleaming subterranean artery shall deliver Ms. Mattel from her front door to the silent food court with unprecedented speed, dignity, and municipal extravagance. Though this monumental achievement will benefit no commuter, neighborhood, business, or public institution whatsoever, Los Angeles takes immense pride in having finally created a transit system that works perfectly for one skinny legend.

29. The Magic of Movements with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-07-21

Across the porcelain provinces of our human experience, each soul leaves behind its own small testament; some solemn and substantial, with others fleeting as a whispered flush under the gentle glow from a nightlight. There are movements of grandeur, movements of haste, movements that arrive with operatic thunder. And then there are those shy little passages that scarcely trouble the waters below. The majesty of these movements is that all belong to the same mysterious intestinal symphony called life. Let us therefore abandon judgment at the bathroom door, accepting that no two constitutions are alike and that dignity may be found even in our most private acts of gastrointestinal release. For when we honor the full spectrum of what moves through us, we cease straining against one another and enter, at last, a gentler world of movement harmony.

30. Wear Your Virtue, Broadcast Your Bouquet with Trixie and Katya

Air Date: 2026-07-28

We here at Bald, LLC are proud to present: "The Essence of Consequence," our ultra-natural deodorant lovingly compounded from Icelandic aloe, pulverized cedar bark, ceremonial Scottish peat, and the pollen from downtown Los Angeles sidewalk dandelions. We take this proprietary blend and strain it through a used pair of nylons from our 2022 live tour, and we do it all without a single vulgar ingredient proven to work in any way whatsoever, as ethics can't scientifically prevent perspiration or odor. Each artisanal swipe transforms your underarm into a thriving, biodiverse wetland, allowing you to greet the day with the moral serenity of someone who has personally defeated chemistry and the sinister concept of “smelling fresh." Because let's face it: feeling good about what you wear is important, even when wearing it is an olfactory assault to all those within twenty feet of you.

31. Some Like It Hot & Flaky

Air Date: 2026-08-04

Hey there, homemakers: why serve your hungry brood another dreary, bare-faced supper when the smart modern cook can tuck beef, chicken, ham, veggie dogs, Cyclospora-laden lettuce, and even yesterday’s leftovers into a snug little blanket of golden, buttery, feather-flaky pastry? With one gay whirl of the rolling pin, you can turn an ordinary Tuesday meal into an Atomic Age taste sensation that makes Junior clean his plate, Sis sit up straight, and your hard-working hubby forget the traffic, the boss, and that third highball with his mistress at Grand Central Station. So wrap it, crimp it, pop it into the oven, and serve your family a piping-hot parcel of domestic triumph, because nothing says “Welcome home, dear!” like concealing an entire dinner inside several hundred calories of shortening.

32. We Finally Explain Art

Air Date: 2026-08-11

Art, to us beautiful biological women, is the residue produced when consciousness attempts to impose intelligibility upon the otherwise rudimentary foundation of existence. It's a beautiful and occasionally difficult transformation through which sensation, memory, and desire are alchemized into a new state of being that endeavors to comprehend reality. Art occupies that mythical space between revelation and perception, where the observer engages in an effort to fully grasp their brain's interpretive architecture, even when it's painfully obvious that journey is a fool's errand. In summation, art is perhaps best understood not as beauty, expression, or even meaning, but as an endless negotiation between the ineffable and the intelligible. Also, sometimes a big table is just a big table.

33. The Ballad of Merrily and Bob

Air Date: 2026-08-18

From a nameless wind-swept Midwest town came Merrily, an innocent creature bound for Hollywood beneath a horrible perm, her face entombed in pancake makeup thick enough to withstand the California sun. Into Bob Barker’s glittering Price is Right kingdom she strode. The lights blinded her as she sauntered past rows of mustachioed men in enormous collars and women tucked into high-waisted brown slacks that seemed engineered to repel both fashion and human affection. The gods of Plinko and Pontiac had written her name upon the heavens, for as she bid upon refrigerators, dinette sets, and speedboats, she was clearly destined to become a gameshow legend. Finally, Merrily reached the Showcase Showdown, her perm blazing like a thunderhead, and with one sacred spin seized victory from the grasp of fate, returning to the cornfields forever crowned in avocado appliances and the terrible majesty of retail price.